Taking Shelter...

So after a really bleak blog that I almost erased, which I get to do since I am the author, I decided to leave it...and assure all that I am really not mental. I really don't do bleak well. It just isn't my style. I just needed a moment...or two. :)

Sometimes I think that people see the outside...they see us muddling through each of these issues and they think we remain unfazed by it. It just isn't the case. We are fazed...and we are struggling...because it is just all...hard. Do we have hope? Yes. (ok...so consider the previous post an aberration.) Because we do have faith that we are held in the shelter of the wing of a sovereign God. Do we always feel sheltered. Nope. But feelings lie. My head knows that, but my heart is a bit weary of bearing the grief, so bear with me...

On a different note, I received a phone call this afternoon from my new, favorite cardiologist. Yes, he really did call me. Well, ok, his nurse, my friend, Shirley, actually dialed the number and said, "Hey, do you have a minute?" then put said doctor on the line. After reviewing the echo and the catheterization notes, it appears that open heart surgery may indeed be off the table and they can repair what is really a flap with the clamshell device. He researched Bruski (ok..I am so not a Patriot's fan, so don't bellow...and I just don't have the energy tonight to Google him...) who as a linebacker who had an ASD that was repaired with the clamshell device. Dr Hess's point was that if a linebacker could be tackled by someone weighing 300 lb and have a clamshelld device remain safely attached to the heart, then I should be able to run a marathon with one. Hmmm...so, we get to meet...our third cardiologist! Thursday. The famous Dr. Kasirajan may just have to find someone else on which to operate. :) We might actually get the shortest recovery possible... However, this story has so many twists and turns in it, that I'll just sit back and wait for the rest to unfold...

The Lord has a plan...we'll just let him show us what that plan really is! He is determined to teach me that I really am not in control...I don't have control issues. Really. :)