A Trek through Target with William

Will had an IV last night that finished about 2 this morning. I let him sleep in, took him to science and geography, then dropped him off with Erlene while I hung out with the littles at baseball practice. I was in the Jeep, so I had to take the littles home, then go back for William.

When I picked him up, he was looking pretty rough. He needs yet another IV. He said he was ok with Target, so I dropped in to pick up two items. While there, he was determined to go look at the mountain bikes. The child just wants a mountain bike.

Last year for his birthday (August), he asked for two items...a computer and a mountain bike. There was no way I was going to give him a bike that he was totally unable to use for who knew how long (turns out almost a year), so we gave him a low end laptop that has been a lifeline to him.

But now the brace is off, he is allowed to ride (but not fall), and he is so excited. We have yet another trip to Ohio next month (this time Toledo, so we have a hotel, rental car, and food to manage), so buying a bike isn't on the list. So we talk about maybe later this summer, and we head home.

In the car, we are talking about biking and the fact that Andrew wants a mountain bike too, and Will thinks it's so cool to ride trails with his brother. He kinda sighed and said that he knew it would be a while before he could do that 'cause he was so weak.

The conversation moves to the impending trip and the fact that we may be able to utilize a bed and breakfast that has a full kitchen, which would help with all of the IV fluid that needs refrigeration and we could cook which saves money. But that means driving to Akron for one of the appointments. He said that he has been to Charlottesville, about the same distance, and he handled it fine.

That was the trip where he had a virus, totally crashed, and was in the hospital the next day for five days. He said he feels like he may be better than he was in October, and I'm shocked. The child went from two IV's a week of normal saline (basically salt water), to four or five IV's a week that have not only salt, but sugar, and now we are adding in Levocarnitine (helps the body make energy), and he's not exactly holding between IV's and definitely not holding if he is active at all.

He so wants to be better, but he isn't. He wants to be a normal kid. But he isn't. I just want to give him a normal life, but I can't. And I'm sitting here crying because he really doesn't understand the severity of the situation and I don't have the heart to tell him...