Thursday, March 4, 2010

THE Call

They apparently are not big on advance notice. I received THE call yesterday afternoon that our surgery was at 715 Tuesday morning, and we have a pre-op appointment with anesthesia Monday. I am so glad we finally have a date, but oh my, what has to happen in a very short time.

It isn't like we can just throw clothes in a suitcase and hop in the car. THAT would be easy. Instead, there were a bazillion phone calls to make...requesting refills on he two meds that are compounded which the hospital there does not have, making a pre-op appt with our pediatrician, requesting IV supplies for the extra infusion that has to be Saturday, requesting a nurse to start said infusion, finding a place to stay for almost two weeks that won't absolutely bankrupt us while also not putting us in the worst area of town (We were told to NOT walk around outside the hospital..not a great neighborhood...), calling dietary at the hospital to find out what is available since Will has such a healthy (ahem) list of food allergies, getting the van serviced so we don't void our warranty, ordering Caroline's birthday presents since there is now NO time to shop and her birthday is Saturday, and rearranging doctor appointments for the next three weeks. I know I've forgotten something, but at this point, the kids think the phone is a permanent appendage and that their mother is present in body but totally absent in every other way. Needless to say, that creates its own little nightmarish there is NO parent here and mutiny is about to occur.

I don't mean to complain about the difficulty. I feel like that is all I do these days. It's just so overwhelming. It's like a massive earthquake is hitting and we're holding on to the walls to hold them up but you feel like they are gonna fall any minute. I know they won't, but that doesn't mean that permanent damage won't occur. When your daughter cries because she just needs her mom and her mom just isn't available because of the tyranny of the urgent, well, it makes me want to sit in a heap on my floor and cry with her. I miss my kids. I miss playing with my kids. I miss joy.

I'm grateful for my kids. I'm grateful for the doctors who are striving to help. I'm grateful for insurance despite a massively huge deductible. (If the deductible doubles every year and we still manage to meet it in a couple of months, what exactly does that say???) I'm grateful for the women who come and help educate my children. I'm amazed at the Brooks' willingness to move into our home and care for our children while we're in Cincinnati with William for an unknown period of time. I'm not ungrateful. I'm just weary...and very tired of being so.

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