Saturday, July 24, 2010


Just for the record..I updated the blog Thursday night (ok. Really, it was Friday morning since it was after midnight...) and then Friday morning wrote an apology...

The apology I was written purely out of guilt on my part. No one was offended or offensive. I was the only one telling me to "Suck it up, Buttercup." It was truly one of those moments when you think, "I really shouldn't have said this but now it's in everyone's inbox and now what do I do?"

Thursday night, I had just finished manipulating numbers, trying to find some way to afford a school that I truly believe would be ideal for my younger children next year, when I wrote the update. I had been told that the school would be willing to provide some scholarship assistance, but I still had to find funds to pay the balance of tuition. And it just is impossible. There is no way to help Will medically and pay tuition. I was exhausted both physically and emotionally. I can't help any of my kids at this point. It's totally in the Lord's hands because there is no way mine can make any of this work. But I was so sad. I so want my kids to have stability and a decent education provided by people who truly love the Lord and care for my kids.

So I wrote the update.

Friday morning, I thought, "Oh, I cannot believe I did that." Why do I just put everything out there for the world to see? They don't want to know that we can't afford tuition and still pay our medical bills and travel expenses to Ohio and the mortgage. They don't want to nor need to know the minute details of our life or of my grief over our current situation. Really. Put on that Sunday face and "Suck it up, Buttercup!" So I wrote the "I am so sorry for being way too blunt" post.

And then I received emails. People are truly concerned that I was being criticized for the post or that I was irritated by suggestions I received in an attempt to help me find a solution. None of that is true. It truly was my own sense of guilt at having burdened anyone with my current level of pain...Truly.

So do I apologize for the apology post? :) Or do I simply say, "Thank you for caring enough to pray and for wanting to help find solutions to the impossible dilemna." I think I'll stick with the thank you and quit apologizing for least for the moment. :)


Anonymous said...

Nancy, There is so much I wish I could do to help you, but I know it is impossible. But I have to tell you, you have helped me. I know the Lord led me to read your latest updates because I have been feeling sorry for myself lately and now I am just thanking God for His wonderful love. I'm praying that Will's next operation will be the one that does the trick, and that he won't be hampered by having to be hooked to a lifeline anymore. All I can do is pray, but know that you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers constantly. "Pray without ceasing"
Aunt Janice Sue

MrsC said...

Oh, Aunt Janice Sue, I am so sorry that things have been so hard for you. Mom occasionally fills me in on everyone...

We so appreciate your prayers. Without Christ, we would have just given up long ago.

We love you!

Anonymous said...

Mrs. Coleman,
first, thank you for writing the blog and keeping everyone informed about what is going on with you and the family. Sometimes it feels so good just to vent and we are all hear to listen! Caty and I had lunch a few weeks back and she was filling me in on everyone and I cannot believe how fast everyone has grown up.
I want you to know that I am out your way quite often and if you need ANYTHING at all please, please do not hesitate to call. I would love to be at your service and help in any way that I possibly can. We serve a faithful and mighty God, I came across this verse the other day and it made such an impression on my heart and I hope it gives you the same uplifting as it gave me.

" Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."
Romans 15:13

I love you and your family very much and you are all in my prayers as the Lord leads you through this path of both trials and joys. "In all things praise him".

Mary Goss